The hardly ever talked about reoccurring issue.
I am frequently asked about how to deal with being asked for sexual ("happy
ending") massage requests and dealing with a male on the table who acquires an
erection during a massage. Happy ending massages are illegal and are
considered to be a form of prostitution. Getting an erection on the
massage table and wanting a happy ending massage are two different things.
Men are often anxious about getting a massage because they are afraid that
they won't be able to control themselves and an erection will happen.
I think it is a result of the cross-wiring in our society that is caused by
all of the marketing ads selling cars with beautiful women. Anne Stirling
Hastings writes about cross wiring in her book Body and Soul: Sexuality on the Brink of Change
Getting an erection is also different from taking it to the next level of
being sexual and asking or expecting something be done to relieve the erection.
But with that said - erections happen.
As a massage therapist how you deal with them is important in preserving the
therapeutic relationship. If you are afraid of them and automatically send
the male on their way you risk losing a good client and hurting their self
esteem. There are some things you can do to stop them like do really deep tissue work
somewhere on their body. Always make sure men are draped properly and tell
them to leave their underwear on. Keeping proper boundaries and addressing the
issue can make a male more comfortable. It may or may not ever happen
again.
Now dealing with men who want a happy ending is another thing.
Get them out the door. Get someone to help you if you work in a clinic.
Stop the massage immediately and ask them to leave immediately.
For more information:
www.thebodyworker.com Blog
Discuss erections on
bodywork online forum
Read what other Authors say in the Ethics Section of the Amazon.com Bookstore
for Massage Textbooks
