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Bruising
A Personal Story
| "When you touch -
don't take. Touch People only when you are giving them something -
reassurance, support, encouragement, whatever." Ken Blanchard |
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Bruising has been
one of my personal issues throughout my 17 career in receiving and giving
bodywork. The first massage I ever received, a basic Swedish relaxation
massage, my trapezius was so bruised and sore afterward I never thought
I would ever get worked on again.
Most of my training has
been in deep tissue work and with the Zentherapy® Institute which is
really deep structural integration work. After getting worked on I would
be one big bruise. Some areas like the side of my ribs, hips, thighs
would be worse. My back would never get bruised. I would bruise
easier right before I started my period. I would bruise easier if
my diet was really poor and not eating enough vegetables. My acupuncturist
said bruising was stagnation in the tissues. I would be totally bruised
when I had cupping session. My bodywork instructors would tell me that
it was bad tissue in my body and that I needed to take 10,000 mg of Bioflavinoids
a day for 6 months or more to help build up the strength of my tissues
and blood vessels. It could be the practitioner I was told. They
aren't using their awareness. It could be my resistance I was told
but I had been getting bodywork for many years, it couldn't be me I thought.
I tried everything. Sometimes
it seemed the bruising would be less. Then it would be really bad. I would
look in the mirror and just about cry because of the grief and confusion
I felt about the bruising. This couldn't be right I would think.
I feel like it's damaging the tissues even more.
Then one day I was
getting worked on by one of my usual practitioners and I realized as she
was working on me the work felt different. I felt like I was really
able to feel every muscle, every cell and what it was doing in response
to her touch (deep triggerpoint therapy). I was laying there and
could feel the pain but actually was amazed at how much else I could feel
and I was really enjoying that feeling. I told her about it and we proceeded
at having the best session of my life. I was able to go into the
pain and not run away from it. She was able to work deeply and intensely
on the sides of my ribs and chest. More released from my body in
that session than in all my years of bodywork. I left the session feeling
so much; everything from intense anger to extreme joy. The most amazing
thing was that there was not one single bruise on my body. I kept looking
in the mirror that evening waiting for the bruises to take over my body,
but they never came.
I had also been doing other
work on myself up to this revelation - Somatic Unwinding, Acupuncture,
Hypnotherapy and regular sessions of bodywork. It was a combination of
all these modalities that allowed my body to wake up and truly be present
in my body.
I am now wondering how many
people actually experience this in a session. How can I teach this to clients?
What am I doing to clients who do not have this awareness? Should
I give up bodywork because most people do not have this awareness and I
don't know how to teach them this? Now that I have felt this myself
will I be able to teach or share this with clients myself?
It takes two to make a session
a spiritual experience such as this. The practitioner must be present
and doing their own work on themselves to allow the person on the table
to even the slightest chance at ever experiencing the same.
It is a dance the practitioner
and client can perform together.
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